*115 copies limited edition* "Is the grime of gossipy society getting you down? True crime podcasts no longer greasing your gears? Then may I propose some not so quiet time with the latest offering from Heksehyl, Copenhagen's premier polymung, who is often seen skulking the streets around Mayhem with a squeegee in one hand and busted 4-track in the other. It's easy to get über glum when your favourite goblet has a dent so deep you wonder “what is the point?” but Mr Balslev has cooked up Pestmaskine, a permissive path which will put pep in your step and allow you to navigate the musty, stagnant and sour machinations of the transhumanist blowhards not to mention clear your ears of the garbage grift talk of the crumpled suited.

Pull up a beanbag and stare at the wall as our man about town takes his electric piss hose and paints all the tan coloured bricks silver before engaging his Dialectic Scrambler (patent pending) on your brainwork. Rejoice slack-jawed at his adeptness on the levers of the mechanical mind peeler which trigger lo-res larval convulsions. At this point you may feel like you are crapped out in the insect room and in need of some serious re-seasoning. Worry not pal, just flip the record over and our hardworking artist will next take a sonic wire brush to your apparently non-stick dome freeing you up to imbibe his sputtering transmissions and nanosecond electric pulses. Feel that hot new modality brewing? That's neuroendocrine stimulation, baby. You are all the better for it.

Now it would be wise to consult your slimy Book Of Attitudes before we move on to the dirt ablation part of the piece where we can clearly hear the shortwave radio operator throw up on themselves while the rusty spigot in the corner of the room decides to give up the ghost completely. Moist. You're dead already, you just don't know it yet so let Pestmaskine be your guiding strobe light. Your dirt nap will be more sound for it." - Dylan Nyoukis